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XEternalBarugon

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Anxiety- it is a bitch. Anyone of the many who have it feel my pain. I'll be open right now, it's not easy. About August 22nd or 23rd, 2005 I received my first bass and started playing it. Years later, I completely taught myself. Learned how to do sweep arpeggios myself, learned a chunk of music theory myself, played in a couple serious bands. This year was my 7 year anniversary, but I haven't touched my bass in maybe 2 years give or take. One day, my anxiety just...took the fun away from playing, and since then, it's felt like a chore to play. It feels like a chore/a big weight just to THINK about playing. The same has happened to me and making banners and other stuff in photoshop. It's been like that since early this year. The nights are especially tough on me. The evening is when I'm attacked by random, unprovoked emotions, often I'll break down and cry, things along those lines. I have to admit though, bitching about it has made me feel a little better about it.

Anyways, to the gist of this journal. I have a dump of about 9 pictures give or take to upload. A number of them are presents from my birthday last Tuesday, and some aren't; just stuff I've neglected to upload because Mr. Anxiety has made it feel like a chore. The anxiety's starting to pour into my RP past time... I'm a ref over at my frequented site, The Arena: Universal Clash, and the past month or so, judging these matches has felt like hard work when it really isn't. The soonest I've judged a match I've reffed in the past month or two is about 7-8 days. Starting tonight and going into tomorrow, I'll be doing the mass upload. Then to come are the stats for a few certain specimens.

So, keep an eye out. HayesAJones and I are working on an Oophaga revamp, and so far the ideas are jolly. Right now, I'm off to enjoy the Dinobot DLC for Transformers: Fall of Cybertron with InfernoRodan. Toodles.
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(just a reminder, i'm STILL working on your banners, guys who are expecting them. i'm sorry to say with my anxiety, doing them feels like a chore, but i'm doing it little by little so they get done. thank you so much for your patience, and i want to get them out as quickly as possible :/)


Now, for those of you following my alien race, the Parakappas, I've got news of MORE bioweapons coming :D

I'm in the midst of designing a microraptor one, who will follow the biomechanical nature of R'uuax (fav.me/d52sjhe), Oobrooyis (fav.me/d52hq97), Lagu (fav.me/d55btwl) and Bamore Voordix (fav.me/d55bvln); organic kaiju with steel implants, implants that are placed at "birth" so that they grow into their current bodies/sizes with the attachments already, ... well, attached. p:

^ i give those examples because not all of the biokaiju are part synthetic; Catylus is 100% organic, she's just a fusion animal, the cross between an armadillo lizard (the base animal) and a snake (giving her the torso stretching ability). she was not given any mechanical implants/weaponry. so now you understand when I say the microraptor kaiju is gonna be of the biomechanical nature and understand the examples, because it's not gonna be 100% organic like Catylus. i'm sure i'll do another fusion or another bioweapon that's completely organic like 'er again, in the future sometime. just not now P:

Also, I'd like to welcome FiftyFootWhatever, who's joining the campaign like kingcaesar09 did (with her Bamore Voordix that we both brainstormed on ^.^); he's gonna not only be creating a dragonfly, but the Parakappas are gonna bring the discovered corpse of one dragonfly kaiju back to life, making this the first "zombie" kaiju that the Parakappas will have. this time, the sentient parts aren't just for show/for added weaponry. The sentient parts will play a role in the corpse's ability to sustain life again, pumping some sort of necro-fluid throughout the body and some mechanical parts replacing old lost or worn parts, like Mecha King Ghidorah (a specific example is how the old destroyed wings are replaced by the synthetic ones). so, this'll be their first true cyborg, like Gigan. A zombie-cyborg dragonfly; heh, sounds cool, right? I'm very much looking forward to the outcome. I think it will attack with the element of fire, too.

later today i'll be adding Caeser's 'kappa controller of Bamore and commander of ship designation AS505. and when FFW is done with his kaiju (that he and i are both collaborating and brainstorming on, about the specifics and stuff, like Caes and I did), we'll create the designated Parakappa controller/ship captain. In case anyone hasn't noticed, I've tried giving the respective controllers traits similar to their kaiju; like for example, Zorak is a muscular guy, the most muscular of any Parakappa (to specify, he's got a body like Arnold Schwarzeneger's body from his early days bodybuilding and entering the contests), and he's the strong silent type. like R'uuax, he enjoys the thrill of battle. Thesbra is as much of a sadist as his kaiju, Oobrooyis, hence why he's the go-to interrogator. He enjoys maiming and watching his victims suffer, has a good grasp of anatomy for all sorts of species so he can inflict the most pain with the least bit of lethality, to keep his victims alive long, so that he may torture them slowly and he INDULGES in it, exactly like Oobrooyis. And for some reason, I just thought him having the body physique that he does (tall, thin, almost gangly) fits/relates to Oobroo. A final example lies in Bamore Voordix and his controller (which I have to remember the name me and caes picked out >.<); he has some sort of "Chronic Heroic Syndrome" (caes found this on something called "TV Tropes", idk what it is but she obviously does) so he's actually mentally COMPELLED to come to his teammates' aid, he's plagued to. he'll emotionally and maybe even physically because of the fortitude of this syndrome, if he does NOT aid his teammates whenever he can, whenever necessary.

WELP, that's really it. I guess in closing, I just wanna say I'm really proud with my 'kappas and their kaiju, and what I've been able to do/come up with about them so far, and for to come. These aren't just some half-assed things, I continue to put thought and effort into each Parakappa controller, into each kaiju. I like how each kaiju has the common trait of being organic but synthetic at the same time, having the Parakappa steel grafted to them from the time of their creation, as they are test tube babies so to speak (except for Catylus), so it's like a uniform for them; an identifiable aspect to single out a Parakappa "watchdog" from a group of kaiju. I think the Parakappas and their story thus far is pretty interesting; that they've turned out interesting, and I surely hope you guys find them as creative, fun, and interesting as I do.

Well that's pretty much it. Thanks for reading ^.^ and thanks for following the Parakappa chronicles thus far. Like I said earlier, new stuff (kaiju, characters) will be pumped out shortly. Stay tuned, guys and girls.

~ Soundwave


ED!T: i JUST remembered, I have Kaiju-King42, quite the skilled artist like mah buddies crystaldemon93, HayesAJones, Crimson Vagrant, Kothoga12, Rendragonclaw, TyrantisTerror, etc; he's drawing my concept of a gorilla's body with a hammerhead shark's head. He's taken some artistic liberties (or is it correct to say GIVEN? *shrugs*) with the head and made the mouth/face a cross between a gorilla's and a hammerhead shark's. he's used the Star Wars creature Rancor as an example. this is the example he link'd me to: images.wikia.com/starwars/imag… bad. ass. for my hybrid creature. and yes this will be a fusion of organic and synthetic, like R'uuax, Oobrooyis, etc. i will tell you this: my kaiju's forearms are influenced by Mr. Wink's from Hellboy II: The Golden Army. will be able to launch fists attached to chains (im thinking maybe barbed chain), the left forearm will have spikes all around it like so: www.chetzar.com/images/film/wi…, and the right forearm will have no spikes; instead, a folding blade that will fold backwards and forwards, modeled after the Blitz Tiger Zoid's blade(s): lh4.googleusercontent.com/_4MU… like the Blitz Tiger, the blade will be able to generate a shock and lob a sorta chain lightning attack.
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To-Do List

2 min read
Hey guys and girls; for anyone bored enough to read this nonsense.. p:

I'm getting back into the groove of making banners. What stopped me was anxiety and depression, which I've been a sufferer of and still continue to experience it. My anxiety sapped my motivation for banner-making like it did for me with playing the bass. Haven't touched my bass guitar in a year and a half, sadly, because anxiety makes playing feel like a chore instead of fun, which is the same thing it did to banner making. I got a bunch of people on The Arena: Universal Clash (ucarena.proboards.com/index.cg…?) overdue for one, and my sincerest apologies for the wait. Anyways, here's the list of people expecting [one]:
(in not the order of who'll get theres when, so don't worry caesuh-weesuh ^.^)

Crystaldemon93 (long overdue)

FiftyFootWhatever (looong overdue)

Rendragonclaw :: as part of an art trade (for a drawn & colored picture of Sporecore herself, Thoralax)

TyrantisTerror

danzilla1996 (overdue)

Kaiju-King42 (overdue)

kingcaesar09 (overdue)


as well, I'll be doing one for myself, one with my recent kaiju and such.

for those curious of my "credentials", I present to you- past digital art works!

img.photobucket.com/albums/v44… (okay, so the first example isn't a banner. it's a "cover"/title picture for Kaiju-King42's work-in-progress story, Dawn of the Kaiju. im happy with the way this came out)

img.photobucket.com/albums/v44… (did this one for me, started in '10, got left in the "to-finish" pile, finished in 2012)

fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/201… (HayesAJones' banner, the most recently done, because it was started and finished in the same day or same two days- January 2012)

fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/f/201… (an old banner I did for myself, back in '07 or '08ish)

fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/201… (2008- a banner I threw together for Dinohunter, who's been one of my longest friends and is a close one. *waves* hai DH if you read this, bwuahaha)

fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/201… (something I made for Pyrokaiju years ago ('07 or '08 i think?), his request was pretty simple)
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Ugh

1 min read
this is a promotonal journal for my (well, not mine as far as ownership) RPG site, The Arena: Universal Clash- Inferno Rodan's baby.

ucarena.proboards.com/index.cg…

it's a REALLY fun place to RP at, fun to use created kaiju and make them for the site. the site NEEDS some fresh faces/blood, active participants that can stay consistant. please, AT LEAST check it out. i'm not lying when i say it's fun -.-

and for any members reading this, try to find friends you can invite to join and participate -.-

and for any NON-members/non-RPers, if you know anyone who DOES like to RP and might like our site...send em our way. thanks.

shout out to kingcaesar09 for being so spikey :3

ucarena.proboards.com/index.cg…
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(which is my forum username wherever I go/am, for those that don't know :p)

but before my entry, of COURSE advertisement for the forums.

do you have your own created monsters? do you like to roleplay with kaiju? then there's NO excuse NOT to join :: ucarena.proboards.com/index.cg… ::



Now...my armory of kaiju has received a new addition- Tsugashi, my Philippine Eagle Japanese deity. His bio is bland and generic right now, but I plan to go back and spice it, make it better.

Also, I'm changing up Catylus' origins, to make her go along with my upcoming dimetrodon bioweapon being sketched by Crimson Vagrant. All I'm gonna say is it's related to Guiron. ;D also, i have an idea for a third kaiju related to these two, or related to the aliens who made them rather. A Dimorphodon bioweapon, like Catylus and these new Dimetrodon thing (which I need to give CV the name to, once i think of it).

Well...that's really it. Stay tuned.
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